Today, I am focusing on the Nurturer Feminine Type and one of her biggest challenges. You guessed it... apologizing. Okay, it is more than a challenge. It's a plague, an epidemic and a curse all rolled into one!
I am trampling on a sacred cow here, because apologizing is the Nurturer's religion. (Am I apologizing here? I could be. I am a Nurturer Type! )
Kindness is important...really important. We want to be heart-centered women! We want to be good. But, constantly saying you are sorry for the smallest of interactions really means something else.
"I don't matter." "I am sorry I am taking up space- existing." "I'll try to be less of a bother next time" "I hope you like me."
The truth is, saying you are sorry all the time does not mean you are kind, good or nice. And, it does not make people like you. It means you are afraid of really showing up in your feminine power and presence because that might bother someone. Nurturers hate to rock the boat.
Over-apologizing is about shrinking yourself down to make yourself small and it is a profound act of giving your power away.
Now, if you're late for an appointment and you keep others waiting, you owe them an apology. If you spill a drink on your friend's carpet, you owe them a sincere "I'm so sorry." If you borrow something and forget to return it, apologize by all means. Otherwise, don't apologize for just taking up space and breathing or for asking for what you want.
In fact, suck up some more air and take up some more room. Be bigger and bolder.
This may rub all you kindsters the wrong way. I have only one thing to say. Sorry, not sorry.
Dare to be bold, be brilliant and be you!
Joy Balma, MA, MA is a women's leadership mentor, personality type expert and bestselling author. She is the founder of The Good Girl to Goddess Academy where she helps women rock their personality strengths, own their power and fulfill their potential. www.joybalma.com